Wellness
People ask "why are you always happy all the time, Zhi?".
The truth is - I'm not, all the time.
Having been through personal challenges, I've learnt the tools to be happy. And I'd love to share them with you. I know I'll be able to help you work through your challenges. What you may not realise is happiness is already within you. It is innate. It's been there all along. You simply need to realise this. You are perfect and nothing needs to change.
Some call this state of being "grace", some call it "inner peace", "Buddha nature". I found it.
Mental Meltdown
In 2019, I crashed. A mental meltdown. Physically, I felt my breath get sucked away. My blood drained from my body filling it with a palpable hollowness. I was at work. My desire to please my client had resulted in defensive behaviours, almost as if I was trying too hard to justify everything I did.
It took me 5 years to crawl out of that hole. It was a trigger for years of rumination, worrying that I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't meeting the expectations of others, trying to be the perfect father, husband, son, business owner, consultant. On the outside, you'd never know. I kept a positive facade, but every morning I woke up and caved in to anxiety and depression, before tidying up that brave front and walking out the door.
Tried Everything
I tried therapy, psycho-therapy, medication, cognitive behavioural therapy, gratitude journaling, yoga, sound healing, breathwork, breathing physiotherapy, shakti mats, binaural beats, reiki (the list goes on). I read self-help books, articles, listened to wellness podcasts, watched motivational videos, installed mindfulness apps. I think I explored every modality of healing and self-help that was available to me.
Breaking Free
Then one day, after 4 years of darkness and depression, fighting every day like everything was against me, I broke free.
22 January 2023. It was a classic summer's morning in Kawakawa Bay, our 3rd of a 4 day rockclimbing trip. I stood on the second ledge of Captain Caveman, a multi-pitch climb. It was then I saw my life shift before me.
My best friend and climbing partner Vijay, was ascending the last of 3 pitches 100 metres above sea level. Unfamiliarity with the route resulted in a zigzagging rope with friction making ascending an ever-increasingly difficult task. For 90 minutes, I stood on a ledge belaying, with little sight into what Vijay was battling above. The rain came in. Tunnel vision got the better of me and all I could think of was getting the climb over and done with. I had been facing the wall all this time.
In the moment, time stood still. It dawned upon me that every bad thing that's happened to me actually led up to this. Beat, tired and soaked in rain. But at the same time, I was there with my best friend... in the most beautiful bay teeming with birdlife and soothing sounds of waves lapping against the quiet shoreline. All I had to do was PAUSE.
In life, you're always running to something. To breakfast, to work, to a meeting, groceries, chores, running to the place people expect you to be, to the place you expect people to be at.
Stop running. I am now OKAY. And I want you to be OKAY.
Book my 1-on-1 Coaching Offerings
On-demand Grounding
Format: 30-minutes video call
Structure:
- 10-minute guided meditation exercise (self-love, mindfulness, body scan or similar).
- 10-minute coaching discussion
- 10-minute breathing exercise (belly breathing, 4-7-8 breathing or similar)
12 Week "You are OK" Transformation
Format: 45-minute video call per week for 12 weeks, with 1 homework exercise per week
Coaching Call
Format: 55-minute video call on topics related to stress management, self-care and mindfulness.
Get in Touch
Follow Me
Follow me on Insights Timer where I have a couple of 4.5 star rated guided meditations for anxiety / depression.
Check out The Decompression Podcast.
I am an Action for Happiness course facilitator. I frequently facilitate the Auckland-based Happiness Habits course.